Archive for 'balance'

5 Questions to Start Living Your Values Today

Thursday, December 13th, 2012 at 10:08 PM  
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A business man on holiday in Africa watched a little fishing boat dock at the quayside of a tiny fishing village. Noting the quality of the fish, the consultant asked the fisherman how long it had taken to catch them. ”Not very long,” answered the fisherman. “Then, why didn’t you stay out longer and catch more?” asked the consultant. The fisherman explained that his small catch was sufficient to meet his needs and those of his family. The consultant asked, “But what do you do with the rest of your time?”

“I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, and have an afternoon’s rest under a coconut tree. In the evenings, I go see my friends, have a few drinks, play the drums, and sing a few songs… I have a full and happy life,” replied the fisherman.

The business man scratches his head, trying to understand why the fisherman is not motivated to achieve greater business success. Having learned much about business at Harvard, he turns to the fisherman and shares an elaborate 20-year plan that would expand the fisherman’s fleet and eventually grant him the opportunity to move to a city where he could direct a huge enterprise. Even better still, he would be able to sell shares in his company and make millions!

“Millions? Really? And after that?” pressed the fisherman. The business man replied, Read the rest of this entry

Doing the Brave Thing (Ilse’s Story)

Thursday, September 27th, 2012 at 9:57 PM  
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A couple of weeks ago a beautiful e-mail arrived in my inbox unexpectedly from a Chasing Your Fire follower. I hadn’t received much mail from readers prior to that, so it was a complete shock to me and definitely made my day. In truth, I was about at the point where I was doubting whether anyone was actually reading and benefiting from the messages that I poured my soul into each week. So you can imagine that I felt like a kid on Christmas morning as I unwrapped the beautiful words in front of me.

Having recently liberated herself from a high profile career that made her miserable, Ilse’s message is a powerful one that she desires to share with others in her position. With her permission, I have included her beautiful words below so that her story of courage, self-discovery, and hope will inspire you to also chase your fire – whatever that might look like for you.

In Ilse’s own words:

Dear Vera…

 

It was with great surprise, or perhaps better yet, great divine intent that your  page “Chasing Your Fire” appeared in my Facebook news feed! So I thought that I would share my story of great realization with you,  given the impact of your post’s miraculous appearance in my news feed.

 

Let me start by giving you a bit of background as to how I ended up where I currently am. I loved every bit of my life up to my graduation from University. Then, like the majority of graduates I set out to seek employment. I was subsequently appointed by a specialist recruitment consultancy in [city], who won numerous awards for being the best company to work for at the time. However,

 

I soon realized that I was killing my passion and losing out on precious friendships and relationships which I so dearly wanted to foster.

  Read the rest of this entry

9 Keys to Inviting Happiness Into Your Life – Part 2

Thursday, September 6th, 2012 at 2:14 PM  
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I firmly believe that each one of us has the capacity for genuine, undeniable, and abundant happiness. While some think that such a belief is foolish, I disagree. I don’t think we really have a choice but to believe that true happiness is within our reach. The alternative is believing that we are destined to live unfulfilled, meaningless lives. I simply cannot and will not resign to that notion, and I hope you don’t either. Instead, let’s choose to believe with Aristotle that,

“Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence.”

Yes! We are born to chase our fire(s) and to liberate and celebrate our best selves (read BE HAPPY)! When we live extraordinary lives, it’s near impossible not to radiate happiness. I’m talking about the kind of happiness where your heart threatens to burst from the confines of your chest, where your cheeks take strain from smiling so much, and where your belly aches from the laughter that emanates from your soul.  Such moments of abundant happiness are what bring meaning to our lives and what make our days more manageable.

But what if those moments seem to be growing fewer and farther between? Life has this way of getting a bit distracting at times, and before you know it, you are caught up in the logistics of it all while forgetting to actually live it. (I like to call this “operating on autopilot.”) If this sounds at all familiar, please STOP. Right now.

The truth is that you are the author of your own reality, and only you can choose to write happiness into your story. 

A good place to start inviting happiness into your life is by implementing the 9 keys below. Last week I discussed the first four of these keys (I encourage you to read more about them here if you haven’t yet), and this week I will conclude with a discussion of the final five keys:

H – Seek Harmony

A – Appreciate Your Blessings

P – Pursue Your Passion

P – Purge Your Life

I – Be Intentional Read the rest of this entry

9 Keys to Inviting Happiness Into Your Life – Part 1

Friday, August 31st, 2012 at 2:26 AM  
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Each of us has the capacity for genuine, undeniable, and abundant happiness. I’m talking about the kind of happiness where your heart threatens to burst from the confines of your chest, where your cheeks take strain from smiling so much, and where your belly aches from the laughter that emanates from your soul.  Such moments of abundant happiness are what bring meaning to our lives and what make our days more manageable. As Aristotle said,

“Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence.” 

But what if those moments are few and far between? What if happiness seems like an elusive ideal and a fool’s paradise? Life, as messy as it is, can often be overwhelming. Sometimes it might feel like it is standing directly in the way of happiness, and there is nothing to be done about it. But that’s not true. Don’t be tricked into thinking you don’t have a horse in the happiness race just because your circumstances might look different than the guy next to you. You are the author of your own reality, so keep clinging (with all your might) to the hope that happiness is still within your reach. Because it is – but only if you believe it to be so and if you actively will it into your life. As Alexandre Dumas reminds us,

“Happiness is like those places in fairytales whose gates are guarded by dragons: We must fight in order to conquer it.” 

Though there are many views on how to attain happiness, here are the 9 keys that I rely on to invite happiness into my life. I hope they will hold meaning for you as well:

H – Seek Harmony

A – Appreciate Your Blessings

P – Pursue Your Passion

P – Purge Your Life

I – Be Intentional Read the rest of this entry

10 Daily Promises to Ignite Your Inner Optimist

Thursday, August 23rd, 2012 at 11:06 PM  
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I recently stumbled upon an inspiring TED Talk by Tali Sharot, author of The Optimism Bias: A Tour of the Irrationally Positive Brain, where she discussed the value of overestimating the positive. “Some people say the secret to happiness is low expectations,” she explained. “If we don’t expect greatness, if we don’t expect to find love and be healthy and successful, we’re not going to be disappointed when these things don’t happen. And when we’re pleasantly surprised when they do, we will be happy. It’s a very good theory, but it is wrong.”

Someone please give that woman an “Amen!” I’ve never understood the reasoning behind low expectations, as it seemed to often belong to people who perpetuated mediocrity. I’ve always been more in favor of the school of thought that says that good things come to those who challenge themselves, work really hard, and believe in their ability to be successful. Those folks have good reason to be optimistic because they are they are the architects of their own lives. Along similar lines of thought, Tali shares the following reasons why low expectations do in fact not lead to happiness:

“Whatever happens, whether you succeed or fail, people with high expectations always feel better, because how we feel – when we get dumped or we win employee of the month – depends on how we interpret that event.”

Tali reminds us that we have choice in how we interpret the things that happen in our lives, and this choice can very well determine our happiness. Does failing (whatever that might look like for you) tend to make you lie nose first on the ground feeling sorry for yourself, or does it motivate you to get up and fight for the future you have imagined? When life goes wrong, do you blame yourself, call yourself bad names, maybe even feel worthless? Or do you accept that some things are outside of your control and have nothing to do with your ability to be successful? If you make the conscious choice to interpret events positively and to attribute constructive emotions to such events, you are allowing room for success and happiness in your life. Read the rest of this entry

7 Confidence Builders To Keep You Moving In The Direction of Your Dreams

Thursday, August 16th, 2012 at 1:34 PM  
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“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams!

Live the life you’ve imagined!“

Henry David Thoreau’s call to action never fails to inspire. Who wouldn’t want the kind of life he describes? I know I do! But in reality, that’s quite a tall order for most of us. Going in the direction of your dreams takes courage, resources, support, and a plan. Most importantly, Thoreau reminds us that the most well-formulated goals can only bring you so far without the self-confidence necessary to pursue them. 

Sadly, they don’t sell confidence in a bottle. It is built, slowly, through self-exploration, loving support, and experience to prove to yourself that you can do it (whatever “it” is). It requires patience, time, self-acceptance (and celebration!), and self-nurturing. Though it can seem like a lifelong journey for some,  self-confidence can propel you in the direction of your dreams and sustain you as you chase your fire.

If you’re not the most confident person, don’t be discouraged. We all have moments in our lives that we doubt ourselves. Yes, all of us – even seemingly fearless folks like Donald Trump, Mother Theresa, Barack Obama, or Missy Franklin. So count yourself among giants! These 7 action steps will help you to build confidence and lift your spirits as you keep moving in the direction of your dreams:

Embrace What Makes You Unique

Take “me time” regularly to break away from the hustle and bustle of everyday life and to self-reflect. Be still. Listen. Think. Journal. Consider meeting with a Counselor to assess your personality, skills, values, strengths, abilities, and interests.  There is so much joy in the process of self-discovery!  When we understand more about who we are, how we relate to the world, what kinds of activities make us come alive, and which kinds of environments best suit us, we feel validated, empowered, and special. We naturally start embracing and celebrating the things that make us unique. It’s very difficult (near impossible!) to feel down on yourself when you keep learning just how awesome you really are and become aware of the many great gifts you have to offer! Read the rest of this entry

Start Believing in Yourself Instead

Thursday, June 28th, 2012 at 3:29 AM  
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What is the world’s greatest lie?” the little boy asks. The old man replies, “It’s this: that at a certain point in our lives, we lose control of what’s happening to us, and our lives become controlled by fate.”

(An excerpt from The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho)

As children, we eagerly conjured up fantasies about our future grown-up selves. We imagined what careers we would have and what we would be like. Innocently optimistic, we imagined a life for ourselves that would be exciting and fulfilling. When asked about our futures, we got a twinkle in our eyes as we told others, “When I grow up, I’m going to be… (A ballerina! A fireman! A Doctor! A Basketball Player!)”

Don’t you sometimes wish you could recapture that childlike wonder? Sadly, somewhere along the way to adulthood, dreams often get buried under the realities of daily living. We can barely make it through the day, and chasing our fire is often the furthest thing from our minds. The focus shifts from ‘living the dream’ to just ‘finding a good job that pays the bills.’  Life, as messy as it is, often teaches us that we are mere products of fate and circumstance, and that dreams can only be realized if you are one of the lucky and/or wealthy…which (let’s be honest) most of us aren’t.

Thankfully, Paulo Coelho blows a hole right through that theory. Allow him and I to assure you that fate and luck have very little to do with happiness. Life doesn’t just “happen” to us. We are not mere passive recipients of fate, living the life that has been dealt to us. Oh, no. Our lives are a culmination of choices (big and small), each breath building on another. Read the rest of this entry

Creativity: 5 Reasons to Start Liberating Your Inner Awesome Today

Thursday, June 14th, 2012 at 6:58 AM  
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A few weeks ago I found myself going through a bit of a slump.  (Yup, those pesky slumps happen to all of us.) I was exhausted – both physically and mentally. When I got home, my body was begging me to just sit on the couch with my husband and dogs, mindlessly staring at the TV.  This remedy worked somewhat for a few days, but I just couldn’t shake it and my irritation was growing by the day. It was my husband who pointed out that the routine of work-couch-sleep, work-couch-sleep, work-couch-sleep was counterproductive. (Okay, so I was eating, brushing my teeth, and other things in between, but you get the point.)

Though exercise would have done me a world of good, I’m not one to volunteer for self-torture. Instead, my husband suggested that it was time to dust off my craft supplies and get those creative juices flowing. I can honestly say that today, two weeks later, I feel like a new person. Nothing has changed in my life, but I have most certainly changed the way I feel about my life. And I wholeheartedly believe it is because I reconnected with my inner awesome. Here are 5 reasons why you should do the same:

Reason #1:

“To be creative is to be in love with life.” – Osho

Being creative forces you to look at the things around you (albeit beads, glass, paint, furniture, fabric, etc.)  in a new light. Suddenly, your world is filled with possibility. That stuck feeling in the pit of your stomach gets replaced by joy as you rediscover what it is like to be a child again – playing with found objects, expressing yourself (no matter how clumsily), and creating things that you are proud of.  Viewing your world in this way will help you to rediscover how amazing it is.  Read the rest of this entry

On Finding Balance: 20 Success Tips from Professional Women

Friday, June 1st, 2012 at 3:37 AM  
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As a proud member of Connect: Professional Women’s Network on LinkedIn, I enjoy reading and engaging in discussions relevant to women’s issues. The fellowship with other professionals is priceless, especially in light of the growing importance of online networking. Recently, Christine Sternfels, Founding Director of A Dollar A Day For A Year, posed an interesting question to members of this group:

If you knew then what you know now,

what advice would you give your younger self? 

In the discussion that followed, several incredibly talented and accomplished women offered a wealth of candid career and life strategies. I felt compelled to share them with you – not only because I am a sucker for a good quote, but because I believe there is value in taking a moment to learn from those who have gone before.

The advice that followed has been presented in three parts, based on focus. This is the final post in the series, which shares success tips related to seeking balance in life (finances, health/diet, and self nurturing). The first post shared advice about career and education, while the second focused on relationships and raising a family. I hope you’ll find the comments as inspiring as I did!

On Finances

1. All that glitters is not gold. Save, save, save, but be kind to yourself by using some money to explore, travel, learn.   - Kay Rice - Database Application Specialist / Ohio Farm Bureau Federation

2. Don’t lend money to friends. Don’t lend money you can’t afford to lose.  - Tam Frager - Voice Talent at Lovecraft eZine Read the rest of this entry

On Love and Marriage: 18 Success Tips from Professional Women

Wednesday, May 23rd, 2012 at 11:30 AM  
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As a proud member of Connect: Professional Women’s Network on LinkedIn, I enjoy reading and engaging in discussions relevant to women’s issues. The fellowship with other professionals is priceless, especially in light of the growing importance of online networking. Recently, Christine Sternfels, Founding Director of A Dollar A Day For A Year, posed an interesting question to members of this group:

If you knew then what you know now,

what advice would you give your younger self? 

In the discussion that followed, several incredibly talented and accomplished women offered a wealth of candid career and life strategies. I felt compelled to share them with you – not only because I am a sucker for a good quote, but because I believe there is value in taking a moment to learn from those who have gone before.

The advice that follows is categorized based on focus and will be presented in three parts. This is the second post, which focuses on advice specific to relationships and raising a family. The first post in this series focused on career advice, while the final post will offer success tips related to life in general (finances and health/diet). I hope you’ll find the comments as inspiring as I did!

On Relationships

1. Stay focused on your core values and don’t worry about the small stuff. - Elena Filimonova - IT Manager at UnitedHealth Group

2. Your real friends show up when your life is a mess and help without being asked. Embrace these people and always be there for them. - Catherine Clinch - Columnist at MEDIA GRAZING column in Film News Briefs Read the rest of this entry

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