Archive for 'courage'

What Will Be Your Space Jam?

Thursday, February 21st, 2013 at 11:32 PM  
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handstand by gozdeo
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I just love the quote above by English photographer Cecil Beaton. Who says being a grown-up should be boring? It’s interesting how we start our lives so innocently optimistic, soaking up life’s adventures while wearing big smiles and carrying big dreams. And then suddenly we start playing by someone else’s rules, don’t we? We focus so much on the days at our feet and the status quo that we forget to work towards making our extraordinary dreams take flight.

Well that’s just ridiculous, isn’t it? Being a grown-up doesn’t have to be boring. Though you are not a child anymore, you can still explore, hope, and dream. It is still a time for you to do the hard things, to go our own way, and to be extraordinary. Now is the time for you to chase your fire!

Meet Robby Novak – better known as the ‘Kid President‘ – an adorable 9-year-old dressed up in a snazzy suit. I think you might just appreciate his enthusiastic and much needed ”Pep Talk” today. His mission is simple, yet profound: “To make grown-ups less boring, to make the world awesome, and to make people dance.” Prepare to be inspired. Read the rest of this entry

Follow These 5 Practices to Help Others Reach Their Potential

Friday, February 8th, 2013 at 12:10 AM  
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duck crossing by dwogen
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As you’ve committed yourself to a more meaningful life, chances are that you’ve began noticing others around you who could really use a hearty dose of passion. Maybe you have a friend, child, coworker, family member, or colleague who is just not living up to his or her potential. Maybe this person is stuck in a dead-end job. Maybe he or she just can’t seem to choose a major or career path. Or even more common, maybe this person is just too afraid to take the leap towards pursuing their passion because it is just too darn scary.

So there you are, a helpless onlooker bearing witness to a perfectly extraordinary person choosing a life that is, well, underwhelming. What to do? Well I have good news, friends. Jim Kouzes and Barry Posner have identified 5 practices that will help you to make extraordinary things happen around you. Though the practices are originally intended as exemplary leadership principles, you don’t have to consider yourself a leader to follow them. Though you’ll find that when you do, you will inspire greatness in those around you.

Model the Way

The biggest gift you can give this world is to be an example of what it looks like to live your passion. Not only will you be an inspiration to others, you will also lend credibility to your message.  As Ken Kesey said, “You don’t lead by pointing and telling people some place to go. You lead by going to that place and making a case.” So go show those around you that a meaningful, passion-filled life is possible! Read the rest of this entry

5 Steps to Persevering Through Your Obstacles

Thursday, January 3rd, 2013 at 10:56 PM  
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Legs of a young man running
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Having been invigorated by the promise of the new year, I hope you’ve (re)committed yourself to pursuing a meaningful and passion-filled life. If you have been taking purposeful steps towards this goal, you’ve likely realized by now that chasing your fire is not a simple task. There are often many obstacles along the way – some practical, others relational, and then there are the doubts and fears in your own head to overcome as well. I’m sure you’ve caught yourself thinking, “Can I really do this?” “Am I crazy for even trying?”

Know that you are much braver than you realize, my friend. You have chosen to take the road less traveled, and it’s that way for a reason. As my Dad liked to remind me throughout my life, “If it was easy, everyone would be doing it!” You’ve chosen to be the exception to the rule, which means that you have to prove everyone (and sometimes even your own doubts) wrong. Embrace this challenge, because this much I know to be true: If you believe in yourself, absolutely anything is possible.

There is no obstacle so big or intimidating that could keep you from the life you are actively fighting for.

Don’t believe me? Take this incredible story as testimony: Read the rest of this entry

Let Your Bluebird Fly!

Friday, November 16th, 2012 at 1:31 AM  
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there’s a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I’m too tough for him,
I say, stay in there, I’m not going
to let anybody see
you…

there’s a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I’m too tough for him,
I say,
stay down, do you want to mess
me up?
you want to screw up the
works?….

there’s a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I’m too clever, I only let him out
at night sometimes
when everybody’s asleep. Read the rest of this entry

Shine Your Light in the Dark Places

Thursday, November 1st, 2012 at 11:58 PM  
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One of the most beautiful parts of what I do is that, as a Counselor, people allow me to see who they really are. For most of my clients, as soon as the office door closes behind them, their walls come down with a sigh of relief and they let me in. Do you know how exhausting it is spending all of your energy trying to be strong, when really all you want to do is to curl up into a little ball and cry?

Those deep, dark places can be very scary. They are often filled with self-doubt, anger, and sadness, and are locked away together with memories and fears that we don’t know what else to do with. We don’t often talk about those things.We’d much rather hide them from others out of fear that they render us broken, tainted, or worse yet, unlovable somehow. So we put a big ol’ band aid on our hearts and act like big kids.We decide it best not to talk about our problems because if we don’t see it or if we pretend that the pain isn’t there, it won’t hurt, right? Wrong.  The problem is,

It is very, very lonely behind the walls that we build to keep ourselves safe.

It makes me sad that so many people have shown me parts of their hearts that even their loved ones don’t know about. It seems incredibly counter intuitive that although we are infinitely capable of love, compassion, and empathy, we shut others out in an effort to avoid vulnerability. The result is that we all walk around trying to convince the world that we have our ‘stuff’ together, when in truth, I’m pretty convinced that most of us don’t. Read the rest of this entry

Doing the Brave Thing (Ilse’s Story)

Thursday, September 27th, 2012 at 9:57 PM  
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A couple of weeks ago a beautiful e-mail arrived in my inbox unexpectedly from a Chasing Your Fire follower. I hadn’t received much mail from readers prior to that, so it was a complete shock to me and definitely made my day. In truth, I was about at the point where I was doubting whether anyone was actually reading and benefiting from the messages that I poured my soul into each week. So you can imagine that I felt like a kid on Christmas morning as I unwrapped the beautiful words in front of me.

Having recently liberated herself from a high profile career that made her miserable, Ilse’s message is a powerful one that she desires to share with others in her position. With her permission, I have included her beautiful words below so that her story of courage, self-discovery, and hope will inspire you to also chase your fire – whatever that might look like for you.

In Ilse’s own words:

Dear Vera…

 

It was with great surprise, or perhaps better yet, great divine intent that your  page “Chasing Your Fire” appeared in my Facebook news feed! So I thought that I would share my story of great realization with you,  given the impact of your post’s miraculous appearance in my news feed.

 

Let me start by giving you a bit of background as to how I ended up where I currently am. I loved every bit of my life up to my graduation from University. Then, like the majority of graduates I set out to seek employment. I was subsequently appointed by a specialist recruitment consultancy in [city], who won numerous awards for being the best company to work for at the time. However,

 

I soon realized that I was killing my passion and losing out on precious friendships and relationships which I so dearly wanted to foster.

  Read the rest of this entry

7 Confidence Builders To Keep You Moving In The Direction of Your Dreams

Thursday, August 16th, 2012 at 1:34 PM  
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“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams!

Live the life you’ve imagined!“

Henry David Thoreau’s call to action never fails to inspire. Who wouldn’t want the kind of life he describes? I know I do! But in reality, that’s quite a tall order for most of us. Going in the direction of your dreams takes courage, resources, support, and a plan. Most importantly, Thoreau reminds us that the most well-formulated goals can only bring you so far without the self-confidence necessary to pursue them. 

Sadly, they don’t sell confidence in a bottle. It is built, slowly, through self-exploration, loving support, and experience to prove to yourself that you can do it (whatever “it” is). It requires patience, time, self-acceptance (and celebration!), and self-nurturing. Though it can seem like a lifelong journey for some,  self-confidence can propel you in the direction of your dreams and sustain you as you chase your fire.

If you’re not the most confident person, don’t be discouraged. We all have moments in our lives that we doubt ourselves. Yes, all of us – even seemingly fearless folks like Donald Trump, Mother Theresa, Barack Obama, or Missy Franklin. So count yourself among giants! These 7 action steps will help you to build confidence and lift your spirits as you keep moving in the direction of your dreams:

Embrace What Makes You Unique

Take “me time” regularly to break away from the hustle and bustle of everyday life and to self-reflect. Be still. Listen. Think. Journal. Consider meeting with a Counselor to assess your personality, skills, values, strengths, abilities, and interests.  There is so much joy in the process of self-discovery!  When we understand more about who we are, how we relate to the world, what kinds of activities make us come alive, and which kinds of environments best suit us, we feel validated, empowered, and special. We naturally start embracing and celebrating the things that make us unique. It’s very difficult (near impossible!) to feel down on yourself when you keep learning just how awesome you really are and become aware of the many great gifts you have to offer! Read the rest of this entry

Be Yourself, Bravely

Thursday, August 9th, 2012 at 10:36 AM  
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As a child, I was seemingly fearless. I’m not sure whether I didn’t know to be afraid of what others might think, or whether I just didn’t care. Either way, childhood Vera was a force to be reckoned with. Seemingly oblivious to social pressures, I bravely catapulted myself into the world (bucktoothed and chicken-legged), excitedly carving my own path.

Without reservation, I tried my hand at just about everything. You might not know it looking at me now, but it turned out that I was quite the little athlete in my youth. I competed in nearly every athletic event known to man (including shot-put and javelin) and brought home trophy after trophy. Admittedly, my “talent” didn’t take me much further than regional competitions, but those shiny trophies sure did make me feel like I could do anything. I never worried about being inferior to others; I was just having fun.

I also loved being creative from an early age. My saint of a mother allowed me to stake claim to our dining room table for days on end, and to my father’s dismay, dinner was often served among craft supplies. Nothing made my heart sing more than loosing hours of my day in this way. Well, truthfully, nothing except maybe the moment where I could proudly share my work and beam, “I made that!”

I was never afraid that others would not like my handiwork. Quite the opposite, in fact. I saw worth in what I had made and I created opportunities to share it with others. I would walk door to door in our neighborhood, fearlessly selling my “masterpieces.”  I even had my own booth at my school’s “Entrepreneurship Day” and was pretty excited when my classmates sported my jewelry. As a child, I felt confident in myself and unstoppable, really. I believed that the world was my oyster.

When I look back on those days now I can’t help but miss the innocent optimism and fearlessness so characteristic of my youth. As is the case for many of you, growing up meant learning tough lessons about social acceptance and the penalties of putting yourself out there.  I quickly learned that my best efforts would not always win trophies or be received favorably. Instead, there were now others who seemed compelled to remind me that the world was in fact not my oyster. In tough times my dad would lovingly say, “The tallest trees catch the most wind!”  Honestly, sometimes it really sucked being a tall tree.

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The Truth About You

Thursday, July 19th, 2012 at 10:45 AM  
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Things move fairly slowly in the South on the best of days, but as the muggy Mississippi heat crawls its way under your skin during the unbearable summer months, Southern life slows down even further – as if to compensate. As students leave campus to go on big summer adventures, staff members are left on ghost campuses with few immediate demands on our attention. (This is quite a contrast to having our lives seemingly revolve around student needs during the normal semester.) Despite the humidity, summer therefore brings a breath of long awaited fresh air.

With fewer appointments on my calendar I have had more time to devote to deep, meaningful conversations (DMC’s as I like to call them) with my colleagues, friends, and even the odd student. In the process, I’ve gotten to know several incredibly talented, smart and beautiful people – both inside and out. Sadly (and surprisingly) it seems that many of them have shared one thing in common:  they are choosing not to show their true selves to the world.

A talented friend wants nothing more than to counsel troubled youth, but is too afraid to apply to graduate school because she doesn’t think that she could succeed. A warm, loving, tenderhearted friend finds herself in a terribly unhealthy relationship but is afraid to leave because she doesn’t think she could find love again. A brave new professional is having trouble being himself around new colleagues because he is trying so hard to impress and please everyone. A sweet girl has been burned so much by those she trusted that she refuses to let others in. Another colorful friend lives behind a gray mask to hide his homosexuality from the world and sometimes even himself.

Each one of these incredible individuals fail to acknowledge (or understand?) just how special they are in their own way. Overcome by fear of rejection and/or failure, they each lack the confidence to let their true colors show.

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3 Reasons Why Your Passion Is Unclear To You

Thursday, July 12th, 2012 at 6:06 AM  
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“Vera, I have a question for you,” my friend Rebecca said shyly during our lunch date today. “Your message about chasing your fire has gotten me really excited about the prospect of living truer to myself. But…

I am 35 years old and I still don’t know what my passion is…

What if I don’t have one?

Phew, what a question! One that I’ve heard many times over and one that takes a lot of courage to ask of yourself – let alone out loud. It’s a confusing thing when you are not sure what brings meaning to you and your life other than your loved ones. There are many things that we enjoy doing. The type of television shows we watch, the kinds of magazines, newspapers or websites we gravitate to, or the kinds of activities we like to be involved in all point to our interests. But just because we enjoy doing something doesn’t make it a passion. I think this is what concerned Rebecca.

There is a distinct difference between enjoying an activity (whether it be writing, public speaking, knitting, playing tennis, volunteering, etc.) and feeling compelled to do it. Like you don’t have a choice in the matter. Like if you don’t do it, you won’t be able to feel at peace until you do. As if your soul is threatening to just shrivel up and die if you don’t listen to it. Read the rest of this entry