Archive for 'living a purposeful life'

5 Steps to Persevering Through Your Obstacles

Thursday, January 3rd, 2013 at 10:56 PM  
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Legs of a young man running
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Having been invigorated by the promise of the new year, I hope you’ve (re)committed yourself to pursuing a meaningful and passion-filled life. If you have been taking purposeful steps towards this goal, you’ve likely realized by now that chasing your fire is not a simple task. There are often many obstacles along the way – some practical, others relational, and then there are the doubts and fears in your own head to overcome as well. I’m sure you’ve caught yourself thinking, “Can I really do this?” “Am I crazy for even trying?”

Know that you are much braver than you realize, my friend. You have chosen to take the road less traveled, and it’s that way for a reason. As my Dad liked to remind me throughout my life, “If it was easy, everyone would be doing it!” You’ve chosen to be the exception to the rule, which means that you have to prove everyone (and sometimes even your own doubts) wrong. Embrace this challenge, because this much I know to be true: If you believe in yourself, absolutely anything is possible.

There is no obstacle so big or intimidating that could keep you from the life you are actively fighting for.

Don’t believe me? Take this incredible story as testimony: Read the rest of this entry

7 New Year’s Resolutions To Make Every Day

Wednesday, December 26th, 2012 at 10:00 AM  
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Firework 2 by Apollo777
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As the new year beckons, many of us feel comforted and excited at the promise of a fresh start. It is as if the past year’s unfulfilled goals and inefficiencies are left in the rear view mirror; our focus on our futures, full of promise.

It’s no wonder that new year’s resolutions are so popular. From eating healthier and exercising more frequently, to learning a second language or spending more time with loved ones, we set (sometimes lofty) goals to ensure that this year will be different from the last. You see, as Charles Lamb puts it so eloquently, “New Year’s Day is every man’s birthday.”

Though new year’s resolutions are a wonderful tradition that brings hope and motivation for many (myself included), I wonder why it is that we wait for big events like the new year to give ourselves permission to start living bigger, better, and more extraordinary lives. Shouldn’t that be the resolve of every day? Read the rest of this entry

Are You Avoiding Your Potential?

Thursday, December 6th, 2012 at 10:37 PM  
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What do you do when the alarm clock summons you into consciousness each morning? Do you lay there for a minute, thinking, “Noooo! Can’t I just stay here all day?” or do you jump out of bed excited about the promise that the day brings?

Sadly, not many people wake up eager for the day ahead. Life is complicated and messy, and circumstances can often leave you feeling heavy, tired, and burned out. Maybe your current job is not inspiring you, maybe the reality of your impending college graduation or retirement is debilitating, maybe you don’t have the support that you seek both personally and professionally, or maybe you don’t know how you let the life you imagined slip out of your fingers.

Everyone feels defeated and overwhelmed at some point or another. Thing is, instead of getting up and doing something about it we stand there frozen in disbelief and fear – like deer in the headlights.

I can’t tell you how many times I meet with clients who come to me desperate for answers when in truth they know exactly what they want for their lives – but are getting in their own way. They focus on obstacles, fears, and the millions of reasons why it can’t be done instead of working to overcome the odds. They spend hours following the realities of others on television instead of living their own lives to the fullest, keeping up with the happenings of their friends on Facebook instead of making meaningful real-life connections, or “pinning” things that they would like to do (travel, cook, craft, decorate, etc.), while never turning the computer off long enough to actually go do them. Read the rest of this entry

Let Your Bluebird Fly!

Friday, November 16th, 2012 at 1:31 AM  
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there’s a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I’m too tough for him,
I say, stay in there, I’m not going
to let anybody see
you…

there’s a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I’m too tough for him,
I say,
stay down, do you want to mess
me up?
you want to screw up the
works?….

there’s a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I’m too clever, I only let him out
at night sometimes
when everybody’s asleep. Read the rest of this entry

Doing the Brave Thing (Ilse’s Story)

Thursday, September 27th, 2012 at 9:57 PM  
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A couple of weeks ago a beautiful e-mail arrived in my inbox unexpectedly from a Chasing Your Fire follower. I hadn’t received much mail from readers prior to that, so it was a complete shock to me and definitely made my day. In truth, I was about at the point where I was doubting whether anyone was actually reading and benefiting from the messages that I poured my soul into each week. So you can imagine that I felt like a kid on Christmas morning as I unwrapped the beautiful words in front of me.

Having recently liberated herself from a high profile career that made her miserable, Ilse’s message is a powerful one that she desires to share with others in her position. With her permission, I have included her beautiful words below so that her story of courage, self-discovery, and hope will inspire you to also chase your fire – whatever that might look like for you.

In Ilse’s own words:

Dear Vera…

 

It was with great surprise, or perhaps better yet, great divine intent that your  page “Chasing Your Fire” appeared in my Facebook news feed! So I thought that I would share my story of great realization with you,  given the impact of your post’s miraculous appearance in my news feed.

 

Let me start by giving you a bit of background as to how I ended up where I currently am. I loved every bit of my life up to my graduation from University. Then, like the majority of graduates I set out to seek employment. I was subsequently appointed by a specialist recruitment consultancy in [city], who won numerous awards for being the best company to work for at the time. However,

 

I soon realized that I was killing my passion and losing out on precious friendships and relationships which I so dearly wanted to foster.

  Read the rest of this entry

9 Keys to Inviting Happiness Into Your Life – Part 2

Thursday, September 6th, 2012 at 2:14 PM  
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I firmly believe that each one of us has the capacity for genuine, undeniable, and abundant happiness. While some think that such a belief is foolish, I disagree. I don’t think we really have a choice but to believe that true happiness is within our reach. The alternative is believing that we are destined to live unfulfilled, meaningless lives. I simply cannot and will not resign to that notion, and I hope you don’t either. Instead, let’s choose to believe with Aristotle that,

“Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence.”

Yes! We are born to chase our fire(s) and to liberate and celebrate our best selves (read BE HAPPY)! When we live extraordinary lives, it’s near impossible not to radiate happiness. I’m talking about the kind of happiness where your heart threatens to burst from the confines of your chest, where your cheeks take strain from smiling so much, and where your belly aches from the laughter that emanates from your soul.  Such moments of abundant happiness are what bring meaning to our lives and what make our days more manageable.

But what if those moments seem to be growing fewer and farther between? Life has this way of getting a bit distracting at times, and before you know it, you are caught up in the logistics of it all while forgetting to actually live it. (I like to call this “operating on autopilot.”) If this sounds at all familiar, please STOP. Right now.

The truth is that you are the author of your own reality, and only you can choose to write happiness into your story. 

A good place to start inviting happiness into your life is by implementing the 9 keys below. Last week I discussed the first four of these keys (I encourage you to read more about them here if you haven’t yet), and this week I will conclude with a discussion of the final five keys:

H – Seek Harmony

A – Appreciate Your Blessings

P – Pursue Your Passion

P – Purge Your Life

I – Be Intentional Read the rest of this entry

9 Keys to Inviting Happiness Into Your Life – Part 1

Friday, August 31st, 2012 at 2:26 AM  
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Each of us has the capacity for genuine, undeniable, and abundant happiness. I’m talking about the kind of happiness where your heart threatens to burst from the confines of your chest, where your cheeks take strain from smiling so much, and where your belly aches from the laughter that emanates from your soul.  Such moments of abundant happiness are what bring meaning to our lives and what make our days more manageable. As Aristotle said,

“Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence.” 

But what if those moments are few and far between? What if happiness seems like an elusive ideal and a fool’s paradise? Life, as messy as it is, can often be overwhelming. Sometimes it might feel like it is standing directly in the way of happiness, and there is nothing to be done about it. But that’s not true. Don’t be tricked into thinking you don’t have a horse in the happiness race just because your circumstances might look different than the guy next to you. You are the author of your own reality, so keep clinging (with all your might) to the hope that happiness is still within your reach. Because it is – but only if you believe it to be so and if you actively will it into your life. As Alexandre Dumas reminds us,

“Happiness is like those places in fairytales whose gates are guarded by dragons: We must fight in order to conquer it.” 

Though there are many views on how to attain happiness, here are the 9 keys that I rely on to invite happiness into my life. I hope they will hold meaning for you as well:

H – Seek Harmony

A – Appreciate Your Blessings

P – Pursue Your Passion

P – Purge Your Life

I – Be Intentional Read the rest of this entry

10 Daily Promises to Ignite Your Inner Optimist

Thursday, August 23rd, 2012 at 11:06 PM  
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I recently stumbled upon an inspiring TED Talk by Tali Sharot, author of The Optimism Bias: A Tour of the Irrationally Positive Brain, where she discussed the value of overestimating the positive. “Some people say the secret to happiness is low expectations,” she explained. “If we don’t expect greatness, if we don’t expect to find love and be healthy and successful, we’re not going to be disappointed when these things don’t happen. And when we’re pleasantly surprised when they do, we will be happy. It’s a very good theory, but it is wrong.”

Someone please give that woman an “Amen!” I’ve never understood the reasoning behind low expectations, as it seemed to often belong to people who perpetuated mediocrity. I’ve always been more in favor of the school of thought that says that good things come to those who challenge themselves, work really hard, and believe in their ability to be successful. Those folks have good reason to be optimistic because they are they are the architects of their own lives. Along similar lines of thought, Tali shares the following reasons why low expectations do in fact not lead to happiness:

“Whatever happens, whether you succeed or fail, people with high expectations always feel better, because how we feel – when we get dumped or we win employee of the month – depends on how we interpret that event.”

Tali reminds us that we have choice in how we interpret the things that happen in our lives, and this choice can very well determine our happiness. Does failing (whatever that might look like for you) tend to make you lie nose first on the ground feeling sorry for yourself, or does it motivate you to get up and fight for the future you have imagined? When life goes wrong, do you blame yourself, call yourself bad names, maybe even feel worthless? Or do you accept that some things are outside of your control and have nothing to do with your ability to be successful? If you make the conscious choice to interpret events positively and to attribute constructive emotions to such events, you are allowing room for success and happiness in your life. Read the rest of this entry

7 Confidence Builders To Keep You Moving In The Direction of Your Dreams

Thursday, August 16th, 2012 at 1:34 PM  
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“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams!

Live the life you’ve imagined!“

Henry David Thoreau’s call to action never fails to inspire. Who wouldn’t want the kind of life he describes? I know I do! But in reality, that’s quite a tall order for most of us. Going in the direction of your dreams takes courage, resources, support, and a plan. Most importantly, Thoreau reminds us that the most well-formulated goals can only bring you so far without the self-confidence necessary to pursue them. 

Sadly, they don’t sell confidence in a bottle. It is built, slowly, through self-exploration, loving support, and experience to prove to yourself that you can do it (whatever “it” is). It requires patience, time, self-acceptance (and celebration!), and self-nurturing. Though it can seem like a lifelong journey for some,  self-confidence can propel you in the direction of your dreams and sustain you as you chase your fire.

If you’re not the most confident person, don’t be discouraged. We all have moments in our lives that we doubt ourselves. Yes, all of us – even seemingly fearless folks like Donald Trump, Mother Theresa, Barack Obama, or Missy Franklin. So count yourself among giants! These 7 action steps will help you to build confidence and lift your spirits as you keep moving in the direction of your dreams:

Embrace What Makes You Unique

Take “me time” regularly to break away from the hustle and bustle of everyday life and to self-reflect. Be still. Listen. Think. Journal. Consider meeting with a Counselor to assess your personality, skills, values, strengths, abilities, and interests.  There is so much joy in the process of self-discovery!  When we understand more about who we are, how we relate to the world, what kinds of activities make us come alive, and which kinds of environments best suit us, we feel validated, empowered, and special. We naturally start embracing and celebrating the things that make us unique. It’s very difficult (near impossible!) to feel down on yourself when you keep learning just how awesome you really are and become aware of the many great gifts you have to offer! Read the rest of this entry

Be Yourself, Bravely

Thursday, August 9th, 2012 at 10:36 AM  
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As a child, I was seemingly fearless. I’m not sure whether I didn’t know to be afraid of what others might think, or whether I just didn’t care. Either way, childhood Vera was a force to be reckoned with. Seemingly oblivious to social pressures, I bravely catapulted myself into the world (bucktoothed and chicken-legged), excitedly carving my own path.

Without reservation, I tried my hand at just about everything. You might not know it looking at me now, but it turned out that I was quite the little athlete in my youth. I competed in nearly every athletic event known to man (including shot-put and javelin) and brought home trophy after trophy. Admittedly, my “talent” didn’t take me much further than regional competitions, but those shiny trophies sure did make me feel like I could do anything. I never worried about being inferior to others; I was just having fun.

I also loved being creative from an early age. My saint of a mother allowed me to stake claim to our dining room table for days on end, and to my father’s dismay, dinner was often served among craft supplies. Nothing made my heart sing more than loosing hours of my day in this way. Well, truthfully, nothing except maybe the moment where I could proudly share my work and beam, “I made that!”

I was never afraid that others would not like my handiwork. Quite the opposite, in fact. I saw worth in what I had made and I created opportunities to share it with others. I would walk door to door in our neighborhood, fearlessly selling my “masterpieces.”  I even had my own booth at my school’s “Entrepreneurship Day” and was pretty excited when my classmates sported my jewelry. As a child, I felt confident in myself and unstoppable, really. I believed that the world was my oyster.

When I look back on those days now I can’t help but miss the innocent optimism and fearlessness so characteristic of my youth. As is the case for many of you, growing up meant learning tough lessons about social acceptance and the penalties of putting yourself out there.  I quickly learned that my best efforts would not always win trophies or be received favorably. Instead, there were now others who seemed compelled to remind me that the world was in fact not my oyster. In tough times my dad would lovingly say, “The tallest trees catch the most wind!”  Honestly, sometimes it really sucked being a tall tree.

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