Archive for 'perseverance'

5 Steps to Persevering Through Your Obstacles

Thursday, January 3rd, 2013 at 10:56 PM  
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Legs of a young man running
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Having been invigorated by the promise of the new year, I hope you’ve (re)committed yourself to pursuing a meaningful and passion-filled life. If you have been taking purposeful steps towards this goal, you’ve likely realized by now that chasing your fire is not a simple task. There are often many obstacles along the way – some practical, others relational, and then there are the doubts and fears in your own head to overcome as well. I’m sure you’ve caught yourself thinking, “Can I really do this?” “Am I crazy for even trying?”

Know that you are much braver than you realize, my friend. You have chosen to take the road less traveled, and it’s that way for a reason. As my Dad liked to remind me throughout my life, “If it was easy, everyone would be doing it!” You’ve chosen to be the exception to the rule, which means that you have to prove everyone (and sometimes even your own doubts) wrong. Embrace this challenge, because this much I know to be true: If you believe in yourself, absolutely anything is possible.

There is no obstacle so big or intimidating that could keep you from the life you are actively fighting for.

Don’t believe me? Take this incredible story as testimony: Read the rest of this entry

Be The Exception! (Trevin Hunte’s Story)

Thursday, September 20th, 2012 at 11:56 PM  
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You might have realized by now that I’m a sucker for reality talent shows like The Voice, X-factor, and American Idol.  In truth, it’s not so much the performances that keep me glued to the television as it is the incredible stories behind the talent. What unfolds are stories of passion, vulnerability, hope, and perseverance –  inspiring real life examples of people who are chasing their fire despite the odds.

Take 18-year old Trevin Hunte for example. Recently on The Voice, Trevin blew the judges away with his performance of “Listen” (by Beyonce Knowles). Within the first few seconds of his buttery voice filling the auditorium, the crowd rose to their feet as the judges’ chairs flung around to see the face behind the voice. The judges fought over Trevin, knowing that his was a rare talent. “I hit my button out of sheer respect…it absolutely blows my mind!” said Blake Shelton. CeeLo agreed, “You might be that dude to win this thing!”

Here’s the ironic part:

Trevin Hunte was told by his eighth grade teacher that he wouldn’t become anything. And what’s worse, he believed her. 

“Confidence hasn’t always been the biggest thing in my life,” he told the judges as he shared his story. It took all of him to pursue his passion given the voices in the back of his mind that kept insisting that he could not do it. ”Screw your 8th grade teacher!” judge Blake cried out in disbelief. (Can I hear an Amen to that?)

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10 Daily Promises to Ignite Your Inner Optimist

Thursday, August 23rd, 2012 at 11:06 PM  
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I recently stumbled upon an inspiring TED Talk by Tali Sharot, author of The Optimism Bias: A Tour of the Irrationally Positive Brain, where she discussed the value of overestimating the positive. “Some people say the secret to happiness is low expectations,” she explained. “If we don’t expect greatness, if we don’t expect to find love and be healthy and successful, we’re not going to be disappointed when these things don’t happen. And when we’re pleasantly surprised when they do, we will be happy. It’s a very good theory, but it is wrong.”

Someone please give that woman an “Amen!” I’ve never understood the reasoning behind low expectations, as it seemed to often belong to people who perpetuated mediocrity. I’ve always been more in favor of the school of thought that says that good things come to those who challenge themselves, work really hard, and believe in their ability to be successful. Those folks have good reason to be optimistic because they are they are the architects of their own lives. Along similar lines of thought, Tali shares the following reasons why low expectations do in fact not lead to happiness:

“Whatever happens, whether you succeed or fail, people with high expectations always feel better, because how we feel – when we get dumped or we win employee of the month – depends on how we interpret that event.”

Tali reminds us that we have choice in how we interpret the things that happen in our lives, and this choice can very well determine our happiness. Does failing (whatever that might look like for you) tend to make you lie nose first on the ground feeling sorry for yourself, or does it motivate you to get up and fight for the future you have imagined? When life goes wrong, do you blame yourself, call yourself bad names, maybe even feel worthless? Or do you accept that some things are outside of your control and have nothing to do with your ability to be successful? If you make the conscious choice to interpret events positively and to attribute constructive emotions to such events, you are allowing room for success and happiness in your life. Read the rest of this entry

7 Confidence Builders To Keep You Moving In The Direction of Your Dreams

Thursday, August 16th, 2012 at 1:34 PM  
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“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams!

Live the life you’ve imagined!“

Henry David Thoreau’s call to action never fails to inspire. Who wouldn’t want the kind of life he describes? I know I do! But in reality, that’s quite a tall order for most of us. Going in the direction of your dreams takes courage, resources, support, and a plan. Most importantly, Thoreau reminds us that the most well-formulated goals can only bring you so far without the self-confidence necessary to pursue them. 

Sadly, they don’t sell confidence in a bottle. It is built, slowly, through self-exploration, loving support, and experience to prove to yourself that you can do it (whatever “it” is). It requires patience, time, self-acceptance (and celebration!), and self-nurturing. Though it can seem like a lifelong journey for some,  self-confidence can propel you in the direction of your dreams and sustain you as you chase your fire.

If you’re not the most confident person, don’t be discouraged. We all have moments in our lives that we doubt ourselves. Yes, all of us – even seemingly fearless folks like Donald Trump, Mother Theresa, Barack Obama, or Missy Franklin. So count yourself among giants! These 7 action steps will help you to build confidence and lift your spirits as you keep moving in the direction of your dreams:

Embrace What Makes You Unique

Take “me time” regularly to break away from the hustle and bustle of everyday life and to self-reflect. Be still. Listen. Think. Journal. Consider meeting with a Counselor to assess your personality, skills, values, strengths, abilities, and interests.  There is so much joy in the process of self-discovery!  When we understand more about who we are, how we relate to the world, what kinds of activities make us come alive, and which kinds of environments best suit us, we feel validated, empowered, and special. We naturally start embracing and celebrating the things that make us unique. It’s very difficult (near impossible!) to feel down on yourself when you keep learning just how awesome you really are and become aware of the many great gifts you have to offer! Read the rest of this entry

Going for Gold: 5 Lessons in Resiliency (Jordyn Wieber’s Story)

Thursday, August 2nd, 2012 at 1:52 PM  
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Like millions of Americans, I have been glued to my TV screen since the start of the 2012 London Olympic games. My usual evening programming has been diverted to DVR and replaced with swimming, diving, and, my favorite, gymnastics. There’s nothing quite like bearing witness to athletes in their prime, showing the world what they’re made of.

As you likely know (unless you’ve been living under a rock), this has been a big week for Team USA in Women’s gymnastics. The media was abuzz when world champion Jordyn Wieber failed to qualify for a shot at all-around Olympic gold. The raw emotions we saw as her dreams were crushed in front of billions of viewers was simply gut wrenching.

Somehow, though, young Jordyn was able to pick herself up within a day. ”After the biggest disappointment of her gymnastic life… Jordyn Wieber got down to business,” said Mark Sappenfield. “There were some tears,” Coach Geddert said, “about five minutes’ worth – and some loving words from her teammates. Then, it was time to get to work. Because, that is just what Jordyn Wieber does.”

Boy, what an understatement! Forever etched in my memory is the moment when the camera zoomed in on her face as she stood in the starting position of her floor routine during team finals. With determined eyes she stared right through the camera into each of our living rooms as if to say, “Don’t worry. I’ve got this.”

Jordyn’s smile during her final performance was incredible to see. She knew she had it every step of the way. She was having fun out there. Most importantly, despite crushed dreams, Jordyn continued to live her passion in front of billions of viewers. It was an incredible moment for Jordyn and all who understood her struggle. Read the rest of this entry

5 Tips for Adapting to Company Culture as a New Hire

Sunday, April 15th, 2012 at 7:18 AM  
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Chameleons are under appreciated. Just imagine the constant challenge of changing your colors to blend in with the environment around you. On a leaf, you’d have to turn green. On a twig, you’d have to turn brown. No matter the place, you’d have to camouflage your true self to ensure your survival. You see, all good chameleons know: Conformity = safety;  being different = danger. New hires would be well served following a similar philosophy, as the “safety in conformity” rule is not only relevant to our colorful friends.

As you might have learned the hard way, we share the chameleon’s burden at various life stages. Our society tends to celebrate conformity while (sadly) often squashing anything that seems outside of the ordinary.You might have experienced this reality in high school when you learned that popularity is directly correlated with your wardrobe as well as your ability to not mess up the bell curve. There is safety in being just like everybody else, or at least acting like you are just like everybody else.

Your liberation from high school and college did not release you from this reality. As a new hire in a company, the “safety in conformity” rule is especially relevant – with much higher stakes. Here, if you fail to fit in with your new team’s culture, you might not only become the black sheep of the office. Much worse, you might get fired! A recent Forbes article indicated that nearly half of new hires fail within the first 18 months, most due to “attitudinal reasons,” including (from the employer’s perspective): temperament (yes, personality!), low levels of emotional intelligence and motivation, and lack of coachability (i.e., inflexibility). Read the rest of this entry

A Girl’s 12-Step Guide to Buying a New “Grown Up” Car

Monday, March 19th, 2012 at 4:07 AM  
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As you begin your career, you might suddenly realize that your beat up old faithful from college looks a little shabby parked in the company lot. Though I don’t believe a car determines your worth as an employee in any way, it might boost your confidence to have a vehicle to match your new professional image.

Car buying can be a real challenge. If you are anything like me, car buying was uncharted territory. My Dad handled the negotiations for my first vehicle and so I had no idea how this whole car buying thing worked when it was my turn.  Thankfully, after a few days of intensive research on cars / car buying, I gained some great tips from friends and the Internet. The experience was a lesson in negotiation, assertiveness, and stamina. This was not an easy ride, but Roxy (my first new car) was definitely worth it. I thought that I would share some of my new-found car buying wisdom here for those interested.

1. Know that car buying is an endurance sport. Do not expect to sprint through the car buying process! Rushing to a purchase might prevent you from getting the best bang for your buck. If done correctly, the process will take several days – even weeks – so plan accordingly.

2. Determine your budget. This article provides great information on choosing the right car to fit your budget. If you will be financing your vehicle, use this Payment to Income Budget Calculator to determine your recommended monthly payments by gross monthly salary. Read the rest of this entry

Focus Your Online Job Search By Using Niche Websites.

Saturday, March 10th, 2012 at 10:48 PM  
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As a Career Counselor, I often have clients who are discouraged and exhausted by the job search process. They complain about the countless hours spent scouring the thousands of jobs listed on general job search websites, while typically finding few postings that are relevant to their specific career goals. With so many hours of job searching and such sincere effort, how is it possible to not have such few viable job leads? It is rather simple, actually: Quantity does not equal quality.  Casting a wide net might actually be counterproductive because you are opening yourself up to thousands of irrelevant and untrustworthy job postings.

If you are experiencing similar frustrations, it might be fruitful for you to redirect your time and attention to industry specific job boards and association websites. These sites will help you to maximize your time and use your online resources more efficiently during the job search process. First, niche job boards are especially helpful because they help to narrowly focus your job search efforts to positions related to your field of study, saving you time and energy. Below are a few websites that offer lists of job search websites by major / industry. As vast as the internet is, I cannot claim that these lists are exhaustive, but I do hope that you find them useful as you move forward in your job search.

Job search websites by field of study:

Additional sources offering extensive lists of job search websites by major: Read the rest of this entry

Career v. Life

Thursday, March 8th, 2012 at 9:27 PM  
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Work is part of life; it is healthy and constructive. It pays the bills. It gives the reward of real accomplishment and useful participation in community and society. It doesn’t matter if you are a Career Counselor like I am, a pizza delivery girl, a corporate executive, or an aspiring rocket scientist. Work can be wonderful and fulfilling if the fit is just right. However, as you might have learned, if not managed correctly, a job can also take a toll on your relationships, health, and overall sense of well-being.

The harsh reality of the current economic climate is that most of us are forced to do more with much, much less – both at work and at home. In today’s chaotic world, it is a safe bet that there just isn’t enough time in the average day to meet the responsibilities of work, family and friends. And, since our bosses hold a tight rein on our paychecks, it is likely that our family and friends are the ones who suffer. If you’re anything like me, you probably can’t find the time to return phone calls or remember to send a birthday card to your Aunt Betty. Thank goodness for Facebook! That’s all I’ve got to say about that.
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