Archive for 'success tips'

5 Steps to Surviving Your Roller Coaster of a Life

Friday, January 11th, 2013 at 1:31 AM  
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Roller coaster descent by ProLife
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They say that average people have wishes and hopes, while confident people have goals and plans. But sometimes even the best goals are no match for the curve balls that life throws your way. It is very frustrating and disappointing when you are left feeling powerless in the wake of things beyond your control. And if you are the kind of person who finds comfort in predictability and structure, it can be especially overwhelming.

Seek peace by first recognizing that one of the only certainties is that life is not certain nor predictable. Whether you are facing an unforeseen obstacle in the way of your goals, working with a difficult coworker who doesn’t seem to be on the same page as you, or recovering from a tough case of the winter flu, try to consider the loss of control  as an opportunity to practice your ability to just let go.

Most often, kicking and screaming in protest will not do anything except leave you exhausted. So instead, it might help to reframe your challenges as nothing more than dips and twists on a roller coaster ride. Sure, your world will get shaken and you’ll get flipped upside down for a little while, but the ride is only temporary. Eventually, you’ll make it through and feel more alive than ever before.

That is, if you keep your wits about you in the process. Here’s how: Read the rest of this entry

A Lesson in Humility: How To Win People Over as You Pursue Your Passion

Friday, September 14th, 2012 at 9:40 AM  
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This week in reality TV land, millions of viewers watched as a relentlessly ambitious and seemingly heartless twenty-something from Texas became X-Factors’ newest villain. It was painful to see other contestants falling prey to Kaci Newton and her sister Kaylee’s shameless gossiping and mean-girling. Eager to pursue her passion for music on a national platform, Kaci pushed others aside and belittled them in an effort to assert her own worth.

This video gives you a sneak peak into some of the events that transpired, though it doesn’t capture the drama in full. Seemingly sweet in front of the judges, Kaci spat out venom behind the scenes and failed to win favor with the judges or America. Kaci’s actions were so distasteful that even Simon Cowell – one of America’s most controversial talent judges – called her a “vile monster.” Now if you’ve ever watched Simon Cowell in his prime on shows like American Idol, you’ll know that comment says a lot coming from him.

Like Kaci, we can all get wrapped up in ourselves sometimes. Eager to chase our fires, we forget that we need people in our corner along the journey. No (wo)man is an island. Ambition and a desire to be successful can be wonderful things, but no-one likes someone who is self-absorbed, dismissive, or publicly critical of others. In Kaci’s case, America responded by booing, laughing at her expense, and eventually kicking her off the X-Factor ‘island’ that she so fiercely staked claim to.

Though most of us will likely never face the public ridicule that has ensued for Kaci, stepping on people to get to the top still has major consequences. Not only can it severely damage our social standing, reputation, and careers, but it can also lead to lasting pain for others.

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10 Daily Promises to Ignite Your Inner Optimist

Thursday, August 23rd, 2012 at 11:06 PM  
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I recently stumbled upon an inspiring TED Talk by Tali Sharot, author of The Optimism Bias: A Tour of the Irrationally Positive Brain, where she discussed the value of overestimating the positive. “Some people say the secret to happiness is low expectations,” she explained. “If we don’t expect greatness, if we don’t expect to find love and be healthy and successful, we’re not going to be disappointed when these things don’t happen. And when we’re pleasantly surprised when they do, we will be happy. It’s a very good theory, but it is wrong.”

Someone please give that woman an “Amen!” I’ve never understood the reasoning behind low expectations, as it seemed to often belong to people who perpetuated mediocrity. I’ve always been more in favor of the school of thought that says that good things come to those who challenge themselves, work really hard, and believe in their ability to be successful. Those folks have good reason to be optimistic because they are they are the architects of their own lives. Along similar lines of thought, Tali shares the following reasons why low expectations do in fact not lead to happiness:

“Whatever happens, whether you succeed or fail, people with high expectations always feel better, because how we feel – when we get dumped or we win employee of the month – depends on how we interpret that event.”

Tali reminds us that we have choice in how we interpret the things that happen in our lives, and this choice can very well determine our happiness. Does failing (whatever that might look like for you) tend to make you lie nose first on the ground feeling sorry for yourself, or does it motivate you to get up and fight for the future you have imagined? When life goes wrong, do you blame yourself, call yourself bad names, maybe even feel worthless? Or do you accept that some things are outside of your control and have nothing to do with your ability to be successful? If you make the conscious choice to interpret events positively and to attribute constructive emotions to such events, you are allowing room for success and happiness in your life. Read the rest of this entry

Going for Gold: 5 Lessons in Resiliency (Jordyn Wieber’s Story)

Thursday, August 2nd, 2012 at 1:52 PM  
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Like millions of Americans, I have been glued to my TV screen since the start of the 2012 London Olympic games. My usual evening programming has been diverted to DVR and replaced with swimming, diving, and, my favorite, gymnastics. There’s nothing quite like bearing witness to athletes in their prime, showing the world what they’re made of.

As you likely know (unless you’ve been living under a rock), this has been a big week for Team USA in Women’s gymnastics. The media was abuzz when world champion Jordyn Wieber failed to qualify for a shot at all-around Olympic gold. The raw emotions we saw as her dreams were crushed in front of billions of viewers was simply gut wrenching.

Somehow, though, young Jordyn was able to pick herself up within a day. ”After the biggest disappointment of her gymnastic life… Jordyn Wieber got down to business,” said Mark Sappenfield. “There were some tears,” Coach Geddert said, “about five minutes’ worth – and some loving words from her teammates. Then, it was time to get to work. Because, that is just what Jordyn Wieber does.”

Boy, what an understatement! Forever etched in my memory is the moment when the camera zoomed in on her face as she stood in the starting position of her floor routine during team finals. With determined eyes she stared right through the camera into each of our living rooms as if to say, “Don’t worry. I’ve got this.”

Jordyn’s smile during her final performance was incredible to see. She knew she had it every step of the way. She was having fun out there. Most importantly, despite crushed dreams, Jordyn continued to live her passion in front of billions of viewers. It was an incredible moment for Jordyn and all who understood her struggle. Read the rest of this entry

3 Reasons Why You Are Not Defined By Your Job

Thursday, July 26th, 2012 at 12:21 PM  
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You are at a dinner party working the room, mingling with familiar faces and meeting new ones.  Dressed to impress, you introduce yourself with an inviting smile and a firm handshake. Your new acquaintance expresses what a pleasure it is to meet you, and then uses the all too familiar fallback conversation starter:

“So, John…what do you do?” 

How many times have you had to answer that question? Probably more than you care to answer. This age old form of small talk illustrates how identity is often tied to profession by an awkward blurry line that merges who we are with what we do for a living. As if in our minds we believe that in order to understand someone else, we must first know what work they do.

This is not a new phenomenon. In years past, people were often known by their job titles. In South Africa, for instance, many family names stemmed from the husband’s occupation. The now common first and last name “Piet Poliesman”  literally translates to, “Peter the Police Officer.” Talk about personal branding!

Sure, the activities that we are involved in (including work) take up a large portion of our time, energy, and attention and therefore does determine the focus of much of our lives. But does work define our lives and our existence? I think not.

The world of work is different today than it was for our friend Peter. Those living in the 20th century learned that if they were loyal to an organization they would be rewarded with stable employment and likely also financial security – the ingredients that offered them a firm foundation for a life and future. Unfortunately, in today’s world of work, this is no longer the case, so it is foolish to try to define ourselves in the same way. Today:

Organizations are fluid

The 21st century has brought with it rapid advances in information technology which vastly expanded world markets. Globalization has necessitated that organizations operate and make decisions not only quicker, but also smarter. Consequently, barriers between functional units are often removed, thereby essentially flattening hierarchical structures of the 20th century to create organizations that are in essence boundaryless. Read the rest of this entry

4 Important Steps Towards Liberating Your Best Self

Friday, July 6th, 2012 at 6:41 AM  
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“Do you want to have a career that meets your needs, complements your personality, inspires you to develop your potential, and supports your vision and purpose?”

This little gem of a question jumped out of the pages of The Career Fitness Program today as I was reviewing textbooks for the undergraduate Career and Life Planning course that I teach. As if I had written the words myself, “Don’t just settle for an average life. Liberate your best self. Be extraordinary!” seemed to be a natural call to action to follow the question.

You see, ideally, if given the choice, I believe most of us would answer yes! yes! yes! and yes! in response to that question. We would admittedly desire a purposeful and meaningful life instead of settling for what is necessary in order to make ends meet. Notice how I snuck the work “ideally” in there because in reality, despite the most sincere intentions, making the decision to start chasing your fire (as I have urged you to) isn’t always enough to actually make it happen.

You can’t just close your eyes and somehow painlessly wake up to the life you have imagined.  The reality you are living now should not be ignored, as your circumstances have likely played an important part in keeping you from pursuing your passion. Maybe it is the pressure of your mortgage and bills,  the lack of support from loved ones, or limited resources that have kept you from your best self. These needs will likely continue to stand in your way unless you find a way to meet them.  Read the rest of this entry

Start Believing in Yourself Instead

Thursday, June 28th, 2012 at 3:29 AM  
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What is the world’s greatest lie?” the little boy asks. The old man replies, “It’s this: that at a certain point in our lives, we lose control of what’s happening to us, and our lives become controlled by fate.”

(An excerpt from The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho)

As children, we eagerly conjured up fantasies about our future grown-up selves. We imagined what careers we would have and what we would be like. Innocently optimistic, we imagined a life for ourselves that would be exciting and fulfilling. When asked about our futures, we got a twinkle in our eyes as we told others, “When I grow up, I’m going to be… (A ballerina! A fireman! A Doctor! A Basketball Player!)”

Don’t you sometimes wish you could recapture that childlike wonder? Sadly, somewhere along the way to adulthood, dreams often get buried under the realities of daily living. We can barely make it through the day, and chasing our fire is often the furthest thing from our minds. The focus shifts from ‘living the dream’ to just ‘finding a good job that pays the bills.’  Life, as messy as it is, often teaches us that we are mere products of fate and circumstance, and that dreams can only be realized if you are one of the lucky and/or wealthy…which (let’s be honest) most of us aren’t.

Thankfully, Paulo Coelho blows a hole right through that theory. Allow him and I to assure you that fate and luck have very little to do with happiness. Life doesn’t just “happen” to us. We are not mere passive recipients of fate, living the life that has been dealt to us. Oh, no. Our lives are a culmination of choices (big and small), each breath building on another. Read the rest of this entry

Maximizing the Career Development of Students who Study Abroad

Thursday, June 21st, 2012 at 8:00 AM  
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The number of American students participating in study abroad programs has more than tripled over the past two decades. In the 2009-2010 academic year alone, approximately 270,600 students immersed themselves in foreign culture while studying at host institutions outside of the United States (Institute of International Education, 2011). This noteworthy increase in study abroad participation might in part be due to institutions like Goucher College and Arcadia University, who have pioneered programs requiring students to obtain some academic credit abroad in order to be eligible for graduation (Fischer, 2008, June 20). Statistics related to study abroad participation will continue to increase, especially in light of the Commission on the Abraham Lincoln Study Abroad Fellowship Program’s goal of sending one million American students to study abroad annually by the 2016-2017 academic year (BaileyShea, 2009).

Why such a big push for study abroad, you might ask? Well, quite frankly, because it can often end up changing just about everything for those who participate (Chapman, 2011). First, study abroad participation often leads to interest in new vocational options as well as the unanticipated desire to pursue graduate study or careers abroad. However, as only a few participants typically study abroad with career goals in mind, students often find themselves unprepared for the many career development opportunities available to them abroad and often only recognize missed opportunities retrospectively. Second, study abroad participation often supports significant multidimensional growth, including (among other outcomes): Read the rest of this entry

On Finding Balance: 20 Success Tips from Professional Women

Friday, June 1st, 2012 at 3:37 AM  
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As a proud member of Connect: Professional Women’s Network on LinkedIn, I enjoy reading and engaging in discussions relevant to women’s issues. The fellowship with other professionals is priceless, especially in light of the growing importance of online networking. Recently, Christine Sternfels, Founding Director of A Dollar A Day For A Year, posed an interesting question to members of this group:

If you knew then what you know now,

what advice would you give your younger self? 

In the discussion that followed, several incredibly talented and accomplished women offered a wealth of candid career and life strategies. I felt compelled to share them with you – not only because I am a sucker for a good quote, but because I believe there is value in taking a moment to learn from those who have gone before.

The advice that followed has been presented in three parts, based on focus. This is the final post in the series, which shares success tips related to seeking balance in life (finances, health/diet, and self nurturing). The first post shared advice about career and education, while the second focused on relationships and raising a family. I hope you’ll find the comments as inspiring as I did!

On Finances

1. All that glitters is not gold. Save, save, save, but be kind to yourself by using some money to explore, travel, learn.   - Kay Rice - Database Application Specialist / Ohio Farm Bureau Federation

2. Don’t lend money to friends. Don’t lend money you can’t afford to lose.  - Tam Frager - Voice Talent at Lovecraft eZine Read the rest of this entry

On Love and Marriage: 18 Success Tips from Professional Women

Wednesday, May 23rd, 2012 at 11:30 AM  
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As a proud member of Connect: Professional Women’s Network on LinkedIn, I enjoy reading and engaging in discussions relevant to women’s issues. The fellowship with other professionals is priceless, especially in light of the growing importance of online networking. Recently, Christine Sternfels, Founding Director of A Dollar A Day For A Year, posed an interesting question to members of this group:

If you knew then what you know now,

what advice would you give your younger self? 

In the discussion that followed, several incredibly talented and accomplished women offered a wealth of candid career and life strategies. I felt compelled to share them with you – not only because I am a sucker for a good quote, but because I believe there is value in taking a moment to learn from those who have gone before.

The advice that follows is categorized based on focus and will be presented in three parts. This is the second post, which focuses on advice specific to relationships and raising a family. The first post in this series focused on career advice, while the final post will offer success tips related to life in general (finances and health/diet). I hope you’ll find the comments as inspiring as I did!

On Relationships

1. Stay focused on your core values and don’t worry about the small stuff. - Elena Filimonova - IT Manager at UnitedHealth Group

2. Your real friends show up when your life is a mess and help without being asked. Embrace these people and always be there for them. - Catherine Clinch - Columnist at MEDIA GRAZING column in Film News Briefs Read the rest of this entry

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